10 Reasons why The Bird’s Nest in Beijing is not as cool as Bryant-Denny Stadium

DEWEY S DIATRIBE

Attempting to remain objective though staring wearily through crimson colored spectacles since 2008

August 11, 2008

10. Tyrone Prothro never caught a pass behind another player’s back there. Come to think of it, Prothro has never graced the Bird’s Nest with his presence nigh has he caught any passes there. That sucks for Beijing.

9. The Bird’s Nest houses track and field events such as running and throwing discuses. Bryant-Denny hosts events that include running and throwing footballs. Footballs > Discuses.

8. The Bird’s Nest looks like... well a bird’s nest and Bryant-Denny Stadium resembles a modern flying saucer. What’s more advanced, a bird or an intergalactic transport module?

7. The Bird’s Nest has Bob Costas, Bryant-Denny has Eli Gold.

6. People from all over the world view sporting events at the Bird's Nest. People from all over the State of Alabama view sporting events at Bryant-Denny. It's common knowledge that Alabamians are better than the rest of the world.

5. There is a lot of smog in Beijing and there are a lot of red-necks in Tuscaloosa.

4. Bird’s Nest seating Capacity = 91,000. Bryant-Denny seating capacity = 92,138.

3. The Bird’s Nest has the Olympic Torch for sixteen days. Bryant-Denny has a statue of Paul Bryant FOREVER.

2. The Bird’s Nest is in the middle of Beijing, while Bryant-Denny overlooks sorority row, literally overlooks.

1. Tommy Tuberville has never won a game at the Bird’s Nest, yet he hasn’t lost a football game at Bryant-Denny in nine years.

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